One of the things I didn't have on my cancer Bingo card but probably should have was all the back and forth over what I could and couldn't actually eat after having my kidney removed. I knew there would be some changes, but every doctor along the way has had additions or subtractions and even backtracks.

My original oncologist simply said to limit red meat and fried foods. Makes sense considering at the time he didn't know I'd need chemo.

After switching to a new oncologist who specialized in sarcoma though he suggested the same but added that I should be drinking at least 2 liters of water a day to help flush the chemicals through my kidney to reduce the likelihood of overburdening the remaining kidney. He gave a low percentage of likelihood of the worst case scenario and I loose the remaining one with the net result being the need for dialysis for the rest of my life.

Obviously not ideal.

I started drinking as much water as possible, some days hitting 3 liters just to be safe. And let me tell you, going to the bathroom every hour isn't fun but if it helps me keep my kidney I'm here for it.

But finally this week I started seeing a Nephrologist to help advise my Oncologist about how my bloodwork and urinalysis are coming back in respect to my kidney as we do the treatment.

Maybe I was still in a brain fog from the week before, although I don't think I was but what I heard was a recommendation for a primarily vegetarian diet with no more than 2 oz of animal protein at max twice a week. That was Monday and the amount of emotional turmoil it caused was significant. That is before on a followup he kind of backtracked and said he didn't say what I thought I heard him say and that I could still eat animal protein (just that people who didn't had better success rates).

The anxiety came from the fact that over the past 20 years I'd developed my diet based around the fact that I hate working out so I ate in a way that would keep me pretty healthy and only have to do lower level cardio like walking. Functionally that meant watching sugar intake, low amounts of fried food, limiting red meat and other high fat foods, and eliminating processed foods as much as possible.

The first breakdown was focused on the retrospective aspect of it. For example, over the weekend the family went out to lunch with my wife's brother and he ordered an Italian sandwich. I haven't eaten one of these in nearly 20 years because of all the above. Basically, if I abstain then it'll yield me net positive results. Then getting cancer anyway and losing the ability to eat it now that I definitely can't. It's just a, well why did I limit myself on so many things for so long just to have this happen?

The second was forward facing. While some of new restrictions didn't require much adjustment based on what the nephrologist said, parts that did didn't leave many options because of the time needed to adequately research and prepare foods that I'd actually want to eat. Time itself is a valuable commodity when you're already struggling to find time to do the things you're committed to. One of the reasons my family has committed to simpler meals is just the fact that we don't have a ton of time.

I get home from work most days, pick up my daughter from preschool and then watch her until my wife free's up from her work which goes right up until dinner time. So now having to make two sets of meals from them and then another for myself felt nothing short of impossible since there are days where I may not have a minute to myself until after 8pm (or later.

So immediately the thought goes to am I really going to have to resort to just wholesale eating raw fruits and vegetables 98% of the time? I don't mind them as part of a balanced diet, but if it had to become the vast majority... that just became overwhelmingly depressing.

It's all moot now based on the backtrack, but still building a new diet that allows for the best outcome while also preserving my mental health is going to be paramount.

Here's to striking that balance.